******Cracko's Inbox******

[CrackoJacko]

:Yahoo::Yahoo:Welcome to Cracko's Inbox:Yahoo::Yahoo:

:jump2:I will be posting here all the mails which i recieve..:jump2:

:hi::hi:hope you enjoy it..:hi::hi:

:D2An do reply an rep me if you like it..:D2

:super::super::super:

[david_alfonso]

Caracko have 1 new mail in INBOX :)

[CrackoJacko]

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/ATT00119.gif


A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts,
which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder

again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again

he asks the little old lady,

" why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she

replied.

The puzzled driver asks,

"Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied,

"We just love the chocolate around them."

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/ATT00122.gif

[CrackoJacko]

RIDDLE. .

Why is HONEY golden in color?


A) Because of the Sun Rays the flowers receive?



B) Because Flower Pollen is naturally Golden?



C)Because it's manufactured that way?



D) I don't know.


The answer may be found below.. ..................












A little lower...
















Just a little lower now...


























http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/image001.gif
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=emb&attid=0.1&th=10ba4182e4b3f50e)

[CrackoJacko]

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?


1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that
I started running all over the house looking.

I ran up into the attic
and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every
closet and checked under all the beds.

I kept this up until I had
looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be
alive. :hammer:

[CrackoJacko]

1.Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.


2. Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.:friends:

3. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
"Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

4. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
(Tell her not to tell anyone )

[david_alfonso]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: too good carcko :adore: awesome pls post more

[CrackoJacko]

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs 1 crore ............ and............. The questions are
as follows :

1) How long was the 100 yr war ?

A ) 116
B ) 99
C ) 100
D ) 150

..............Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made ?

A ) BRASIL
B ) CHILE
C ) PANAMA
D ) EQUADOR

............Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October evolution

A ) JANUARY
B ) SEPTEMBER
C ) OCTOBER
D ) NOVEMBER

...................Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these is King George VI first name ?

A ) EDER
B ) ALBERT
C ) GEORGE
D ) MANOEL

......................Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands , in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal :

A ) CANARY BIRD
B ) KANGAROO
C ) PUPPY
D ) RAT

............Sardar gives up

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Sardar see replies below................. scroll down...........

Answers:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) the Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George s first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name

5) Puppy. The latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of
the puppies

Now tell me who's in how much....

[CrackoJacko]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: too good carcko :adore: awesome pls post more

:adore::adore::adore: thank you david unkel :adore::adore::adore:

[CrackoJacko]

Little story about General Motors...

Interesting story of solving the most strangest of problems.
This is a real story, which happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-care executive.

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

Sir,
This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact. we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new
Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:
"What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"
The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood.
He had arranged to meet the man just after dinnertime, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start. The engineer returned for three more nights.
The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started.
The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start. Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem.
And toward this end he began to take notes: he jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc. In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why?

The answer was in the layout of the store.
Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor. Now, the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Once time became problem - not the vanilla ice cream, the engineer quickly came up with the answer: "Vapour lock". It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was s till to hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.
Remember: Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution with a cool thinking. Don't just say its "IMPOSSIBLE" without putting a sincere effort.

[CrackoJacko]

T he National Highway
Safety Council has done
extensive testing on a newly
designed seat belt. Results
show that accidents can be
reduced by as much as 45%
when the belt is properly
installed. Correct installation
is illustrated below.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/seatbelt.gif



Pass onto friends and family. THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!

[CrackoJacko]

HIDDEN CAMERA IN BATHROOM...

"SEVEN CAUGHT IN ACTION " Scroll down
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[david_alfonso]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[CrackoJacko]

Hi
In case, If u don't like my mails...

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Remember scroll down only if u dont like my mail otherwise go back
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then i wa n t to say something

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Ye ley....
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/slap.gif
Bol acche lagte haina mere mails , Bol Bol

[CrackoJacko]

Veerappan!!!

Q.1) What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of kingfisher?

A: Beerappan.


Q.2) What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bisleri?

A: Neerappan.


Q.3) What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bambino
vermicelli?

A: Kheerappan.


Q.4) What happens if veerappan becomes a priest?

A: Seerappan.


Q.5) What is veerappan's sister's name?

A: Veerakkan.


Q.6) What is the headman of MM hills village called?

A: Fearappan.


Q.7) How does Veerappan start a letter to his dad ?

A: Dearappan.


Q.8) What does veerappan give as incentive to his employees?

A: VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. u can cut the sandalwood tree 5 yrs after joining his gang.


Q.9) What does veerappan give as incentive to his managers?
A: VTOPs Veerappan's Tusk Options, U are given an elephant while joining the gang, U can cut the Tusks when the elephant grows on.

Q.10) What is the name of Veerappan's IT company ?

A: VIPRO (Veerappan IT PROducts)

[CrackoJacko]

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

[CrackoJacko]

Letter from Wife to Husband..

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



Your EX-Wife




Reply...

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

[Sauron]

:adore::adore::adore::adore::adore::adore::adore:: adore::adore::adore:v

Veerapppan wala to ultimate hai crako mia

:rofl:

[CrackoJacko]

Sardar ki Jai Ho!!

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sardars had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sardar community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sardar community. If the Sardar won, the Sardars could stay. If the Pope won, the Sardars would leave.

The Sardars realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Santa Singh to represent them. Santa Singh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. To make it more interesting, the debate was to be conducted using sign language and neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Santa Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Santa Singh looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Santa Singh pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Santa Singh pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sardars can stay. " An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sardar community had crowded around Santa Singh. "What happened ?" they asked. "Well", said Santa Singh, "First he said to me that the Sardars had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sardars. I let him know that we were staying right here." "And then?", asked the crowd. "I don't know," said Santa Singh, "He took out his lunch and I took out mine".

[Sauron]

Repps Added Cracko :salute:

:hitit:

[CrackoJacko]

:adore::adore::adore::adore::adore::adore::adore:: adore::adore::adore:v

Veerapppan wala to ultimate hai crako mia

:rofl:


thank u JB for ur reply.. more to come..

wat about my reps... :D

[CrackoJacko]

Repps Added Cracko :salute:

:hitit:


thank u :salute: :adore:

[CrackoJacko]

Love story in traffic...

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/ATT1893085.jpg

[CrackoJacko]

Two IT guys were chatting in a pub after work.
"Guess what, mate," says the first IT guy , "yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde girl in a bar."

"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.

"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of
drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me
to make her feel special"

"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.

"I then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new
laptop."



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"Really? You got a new laptop? What configuration?"

"It's a 1 GB RAM and mobile internet connectivity card and............"

[CrackoJacko]

A Clever Husband's letter to his wife:

Dear Sweetheart:

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart

Your husband

Allen

================================================== ==========

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4 . Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart

[CrackoJacko]

Aishwarya Rai shooting par hai, aur ek ped (tree) ke niche coke pi
rahi hai.
Utne main ped par se ek Chinti Aishwarya ki Coke me girti hai. Yeh
dekhkar chinti ka baap aishwarya ko kuchh bolta hai,
jo sun kar aishwarya behosh ho jati hai!

Aisa kya bola hoga usne!!!


Think!!

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aur thoda sochiye!
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teri coke me mera bacha hai...

[CrackoJacko]

Pic 1: It takes years of practice to do this asana.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/pic15209.jpg





Pic2: It takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/pic20093.jpg

[CrackoJacko]

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were
just a huge pile of junk and apologized for >everything he had done.


In a Rajanikanth movie, Newton was confused to such an extent that he
went nuts. Here are a few scenes:


1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
becured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passesthrough his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!

LongLive Rajanikanth!


2)In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth
has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he
does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet
towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills
both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest
imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.

Bang... the gangster dies... This was too much for our Newton to take!

Hewas completely shaken and decided to go back...........
But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought
that

at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes
fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops,
not
so
fast! The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the
villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth
can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our
heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
becauseit's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in
the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he
uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first
gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide...

[CrackoJacko]

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To! realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when

you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

[CrackoJacko]

Seven wonders of the world !

Bole to

1. Apun http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s7.gif


2. Apunki smile http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s6.gif


3. Apunki style http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s5.gif



4. Apunki personality http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s4.gif


5. Apunka nature http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s3.gif


6. Apunke mail http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s2.gif


Aur
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7. Apunka friend..
Bole to TUM ! http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/s1.gif

[CrackoJacko]

Question: Two hair on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?







;;;;;;;;;;;


\\


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Ans: Because under Indian laws, " baal vivaah" is illegal... :D :rofl2: :rofl2:

[CrackoJacko]

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?





























"So, which platform are you working on?" :ass::ass:
:fart:

[CrackoJacko]

Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases. How?







... scroll...















A - The other 9 fish are crying................. :blowup:

[CrackoJacko]

Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari,
RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri
fell down from the wall !!!... WHY ???


scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . .
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coz, they all started clapping !!!! :frog::frog::frog::frog::frog:

:cry::cry::curse:

[CrackoJacko]

TEST YOUR EYES




Plz follow the guide.

1. First close one of your eye .

2. Move your mouse point at the red '! " . ( shown below )

3. Then go (select all) (Ctrl+A) .

4. Then u'll see the result.
Stupid ! People ask you to do something and u do it without applying your mind ;) YOur eye sight is allright,But YoUr Mind has gOt Problems hehehehe ..... Ha..HA..HA..!!!


Pls don't b angry ..:D..

IF U FEEL DUMB :p THEN SEND IT TO YOUR BEST FRIENDS...N MAKE DEM FEEL STUPID TOO..

[CrackoJacko]

A very good example for Mis-Communication!!!


Mr. Sharma comes home one night and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma ?"
"Yes...... speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files.....! .
HOW?????"
"Yes ............. We have a system of finding out Who's overdue?"
"GOD!!!!!!......... This is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ....he will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious." All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:

[CrackoJacko]

updates coming tomorrow.. plz reply and rate this thread.. :clapping::clapping:

[SuperMod]

Hilarious stuff cracko bhau :rofl2:

repped and thread rated ;)

[Sam Fisher]

Lol Good 1s on 1st page will go thru others l8ter ;)

[dva]

mast hai cracko bhai

[maddog_moi]

nice post ..

[superman06]

:clapping: super thrd anna come on.....:super:

:lala: :lala: :lala:

[CrackoJacko]

thank you for all your support Supermob, Sam, DVA, maddog_moi and superman.. :D2 :adore: :adore:

plz rate this thread an rep me if u like my work..

[SuperMod]

This thread has been added to the chit chat section of News Digest. (http://www.masala4india.com/showthread.php?t=2504)


http://i5.tinypic.com/11jp64x.jpg

[CrackoJacko]

:clapping::clapping::clapping: thank u :clapping::clapping::clapping:

[haryali7]

bravo this is fantastiq jokes keep it up

[ImB-Dj]

craco bhai aapki girl friends ke bhi mesage post karo na... :D :D i mean love letters and dirty letters .. :D

dont tell me u r seedha bacha :o:think: :hammer: :cop:

[ateeqahmed]

Nice INBOX messages bro.............

[CrackoJacko]

craco bhai aapki girl friends ke bhi mesage post karo na... :D :D i mean love letters and dirty letters .. :D

dont tell me u r seedha bacha :o:think: :hammer: :cop:

thats not in inbox DJ tats spam mail.. :lala::lala:

DJ :hammer: cracko

[CrackoJacko]

bravo this is fantastiq jokes keep it up

thank u.. yeap more to come.. plz rate this thread.. :hi:

[CrackoJacko]

Nice INBOX messages bro.............

thank u Ateeq bhai.. :thanks:

[CrackoJacko]

An accountant gets home late one night from work and his wife asks, "Where
in the hell have you been?"
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of a tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his
privates?"
"Well, for one... I like to watch my money grow... Two, ... Once in awhile I like to play with my money... Three, ... I like how money feels in my hand...and lastly...instead of you going out shopping every week-end, now you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!!

:dance::dance::dance:

[CrackoJacko]

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad
to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh
loot-maar software?

Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki

Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund
kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire
kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal
raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one
Water tank and

Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko
liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin
aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain,
Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska
server down ho gaya."


AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi."

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!

[CrackoJacko]

George Bush - School Visit



George Bush goes to our school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Bob".
"And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies
that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks
him what his name is. "Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!

[CrackoJacko]

Bihar Driving License...



DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

--------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)


2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)


3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)


4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable


5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right


6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_)Un-employed
(Check karet box)


7. Number of children libing in the household: ___


8. Number that are yours: ___


9. Mather name: _______________________


10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)


11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)


12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)


13.Your thumb imparesson :


____________________________


(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy
thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)


PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your
thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht
hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS... :hitit:

[CrackoJacko]

Ques. 1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......

:axe:

[CrackoJacko]

Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......

:gun::gun:

[CrackoJacko]

Ques 3 : What is tasty, RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer
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A CAKE .... and both were to confuse you....

:Yahoo::Yahoo:

[CrackoJacko]

Last Ques : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

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A Fire Brigade Obviously...........
And u Thought I was trying to Confuse You ................ :sad::sad:

[ateeqahmed]

gr8 going cracko bhai

[CrackoJacko]

thank u ateeq bhai.. :adore: :adore:

[ateeqahmed]

u r welcome kirako

[CrackoJacko]

humm no more replies???

thread band kar du kya??? :hang:

[ImB-Dj]

lord cracko rocks:adore: :adore:

[anilg]

RIDDLE. .

Why is HONEY golden in color?


A) Because of the Sun Rays the flowers receive?



B) Because Flower Pollen is naturally Golden?



C)Because it's manufactured that way?



D) I don't know.


The answer may be found below.. ..................












A little lower...
















Just a little lower now...


























http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/image001.gif
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=emb&attid=0.1&th=10ba4182e4b3f50e)goodjoke but the real fact is honey is forming in honeybee's extra stomachlike place which is not conected to digestive system its so pure that we use in pooja and nivedyam

[devilvirus]

good one bhai

[CrackoJacko]

goodjoke but the real fact is honey is forming in honeybee's extra stomachlike place which is not conected to digestive system its so pure that we use in pooja and nivedyam

its just a joke bhai.. sorry if i hurt you anyway by my posts.. totally unintensional..

[CrackoJacko]

wil start posting more mails soon..

[CrackoJacko]

Helloo everyone,
A little senti stuff! Especially for someone !! Hope that makes u nostalgic
Mother..
When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with Love.
You thanked her by tossing the plate on the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 5, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 6, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, IM NOT GOING!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 7, she bought you a x-udball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbors window.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 8, she handed you an ice-cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 9, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering it to practice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics, to one birthday party to another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 11, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking her to sit in a different row.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 12, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 13, she suggested a haircut.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 14, she paid a month away at the summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 15, she came from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 16, she taught you how to drive a car.
You thanked her by taking every chance you could.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all the night.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 20, she asked you whether you are seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, It's none of your business.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 21, she suggested you certain careers.
You thanked her by saying, I don't want to be like you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 24, she met your fiancé and asked about plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, Muuhh-ther, please!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you were 25, she helped you to pay for your wedding.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, Things are different now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were really busy right now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER.
REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT ON
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE THY MOTHER, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER
IN YOUR LIFETIME.

[CrackoJacko]

Tell the name of the cricketer (Indian)
who had scored a century on his debut (1st match).
And he was the captain of that Match.
And he was not out till the end.
And his team finally won the match.
And he hit a winning lastball six in that match.

Guess...


Can't then Scroll Down.............


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........................
Not Yet.
........................



















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........................

Its our own BHUVAN from LAGAAN.

[CrackoJacko]

SECRETARY 'S RESUME!!



Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really seam to respond to me belly well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
taken at my last jobb.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/ARROW.gif

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e222/crackojacko/PEGGY.jpg

Employer's reply:......



Dear Peggy,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....

Welcome onboard!!!

[SANDY_987]

:rockon:

[CrackoJacko]

We can't do this ever because we have brains!!!!!!!!!
You must read this


It was a sports stadium. Eight Children were standing on the track to participate in the running event. * Ready! * Steady! * Bang!!! With the sound of a Toy Pistol, all eight girls started running. Hardly did they cover ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying. When the other seven girls heard this sound, they stopped running, stood for a while and turning back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired 'Now pain must have reduced'. All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all the seven joined hands together and walked together and reached the winning post. Officials were shocked. Clapping of hands by thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached GOD even! YES. This happened at Hyderabad recently! The sport was conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event and they were spastic children. Yes, they were mentally retarded - Challenged as we call them. What did they teach this world? Teamwork? Humanity? Equality among all????? We can't do this ever because we have brains!!!!!!!!!

[Masala_Boy]

Gud CrackoJacko

[CrackoJacko]

Sandy and Masala_boy thank you.. :D2

[CrackoJacko]

updates tomorrow.. :D2

[devilvirus]

where have you been kirako these days

[CrackoJacko]

where have you been kirako these days


was busy DV sorry bhai.. but now im back so lets rock again.. :friends: :rockon:

[SuperMod]

was busy DV sorry bhai.. but now im back so lets rock again..

:adore::adore::adore::adore:

[devilvirus]

yeah lets Rock